I’m back to not sleeping. I’m on all sorts of medication to make me sleep but they seem to have stopped working as of late. It’s a struggle to remember things and keep my focus (as if the PTSD wasn’t making those issues bad enough already) particularly at work but even just the everyday things can be quite challenging . I get sad often when I can’t sleep and my mind runs amuck with things I’d rather not think about. I just wish for an end in sight of the pain in my back and in my head. I know it’s useless to wish for the pain in my heart to lessen and that it’s a burden that all of my family will likely bear. But I do hope that I have more to smile about in life in general one day.
Exhaustion seems to dodge my heels at every turn. Some days it feels as if my eyes have sunken into my face and that only sheer will keeps me from having a blank mask so as to not broadcast my state of mind.
I don’t really know how to put the rest of my jumbled thoughts into words so I guess this is all for now.