Shed some light

Where the posts? Whats happening in Joannie’s world??? Well this will be a quick note which hopefully will be followed by a much more in-depth one..

As I mention in the last post I was horribly sick 😦 Lorien was here visiting 🙂 Dad fixed the car 🙂

Well..the car stopped working. Again. I went to the ER for reasons I’m still not sure of.. I thought both me and the car were working better! The car is really fixed this time, they still don’t know whats wrong with me..but I’m almost done with my antibiotics and feel pretty good (except for that one time when I randomly was in serious pain and went to the emergency room a few days back..)

Sadly Lorien has left. And even sadder River my dog is in the doggie ER :(( She got into trash and has blockage. I really am trying to stay positive that she doesn’t need surgery. My baby, my poor poor baby. I feel awful and like a bad Mom for not keeping a closer eye on her. I’ll know in the morning if she will progress to surgery.  Stress with work, friends, family and money have left me feeling very drained and icky. With Lorien gone, River in the vets and confused as to how I can’t seem to stay healthy for very long – I feel pretty damn awful emotionally right now. I’m going to miss Lorien like hell! I feel sane with her. No one else can do that for me. And now even my dog isn’t here. Tonight will be long. Tomorrow I need some new light. Shed some light on this negativity. Shed some light on my puppy, she needs it. Me too it seems. And shed some light on this world. I try not to read the world news, but sometimes I see it when I am checking emails…Moms trying to sell their daughter’s.. More Tornadoes ripping things up. More senseless shootings in some random town. I Guess everything needs some light.

May a light be lit for you.  ~J

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A “real” post

It’s been too long since I’ve last written! What to say, how to recap and do it justice? I’ll try that much I will. So my last few posts have been blurbs of “update” but nothing tangible, nothing that is ME and here I am. I’m going to try to fix that bit tonight.

Work has been crazy busy in good and bad ways. With the absence of the Black Dragon (my Subaru) as I stated in one of my “updates” I am constantly working rides into my schedule or walk (sometimes running) to get to where I need to be. With Chiropractic, Dentist, Physical therapy appoints alone its been hard. Add in the Appointments with the Pain M.D and the therapist and the body worker.. and whew! Some people really came through for me and gave me rides and helped when they could like they said they would. Others..not so much. While I do not begrudge those who don’t have time for carting my ass around, I just need to know what the answer is WAY ahead of time so I CAN figure out how I will get there. My friend Stefanie was most helpful along with Ted Mills. Also Eileen is a godsend! A few co workers really helped too! I managed to get where I needed to go (though there were many miles I walked as well). Hurrying through my days, awaiting the arrive of Lorien Myerson (best friend-maybe the one person I still feel okay with in any state of mind) who was flying up to visit me. Somewhere in all this business (including picking Lorien up from the airport. I got sick. AGAIN. So for the record, this is seriously like the 10th time I’ve come down with “something”. Well this time it hit hard and fast. I lost my voice halfway through work on Saturday and had to leave early. By the next morning I knew I would NOT be able to work so I called in to the boss to let them know. As the day progressed I got worse. And worse. Like seriously…this thing had a life of its own! By that afternoon people all over the place were telling me to go to the doctors. Dad had his trusted friend (who is a doctor) call me to determine if I needed to go (Doctors are Dad’s last resort). It was deemed I must go now or soon be hospitalized so off I went in search of a walk in clinic on a Sunday. Thanks to Ted Mills for driving till we found one! And Lorien who faithfully stayed by my sick hacking side through it all. Turns out I was pretty sick. A had strep AGAIN. Only it was in my chest too and raging. Mix in some bronchitis and a serious sinus infection along with a temperature and there you have it. A very sick Joannie.. Armed with a note that said I WAS NOT WORKING (whether I wanted to or not) till Thursday and some serious antibiotics and warnings of if you do not feel noticeably better in two days COME BACK. OKay! Message received… I’m sick and in danger if it gets out of hand..got it. I’ll behave and take my meds. I even have Lorien to make sure I don’t die in my sleep. *Sigh* unbelievable, she flies here to see me and I’m BED RIDDEN!!!! FML what is this? See how much one can crap on Joannie’s good days???? GRRRR.

So Tomorrow is Thursday-back to work, I’m still mending. Hope it won’t be too much for me because I REALLY don’t want to get relapse… I basically slept for 4 days… and still need naps to keep my energy up. I’m told I am not as pale and I don’t look like I’m going to faint… well guess we’ll take what we can get right?

So news on the car, My loving Father has decided that he will fix the damm thing once and for all (hey I can hope here) and it’s now in the shop and should be ready within the day or two. It’s a huge surprise (and I’m very greatful) since I thought I was going to be carless till..well I’d saved enough money to fix it. And that would have been around August or so. So YAY for Dad’s who fix their kids cars even when they don’t have to! I’m looking forward to having wheels again for sure 🙂

I’ve managed to spend some quality time with Lorien thus far (even though I’ve been sick as a dog) but it’s mostly because she is the best and is always there for me. I should write a ode or at least a poem in her honor. But maybe not tonight. I have to sleep soon. More to come (hopefully in a timely manner).

J

All I need is not all I want

Life is always changing and I am no stranger to goodbyes. Still, saying goodbye to a good friend and co worker as she moves across the states isn’t easy. When you take into account that I don’t have many friends like her and certainly not in Alaska makes it harder. But I am very greatful for the time I did have with Emi. I can only hope we’ll keep in touch, it seems some people never fully exit your life no matter the miles but others can walk out and live next door but are farther away than the Moon when all is said and done.  I guess it’s in the details and how we let them affect us as time and distance move us. I can only hope my impact on people is that of which is good and worthy of the short time we do have.

Lately I’ve been continually faced with all that I need is not all that I want. I want my car to run again, I want two days off so I can freaking hike in ALASKA (camp too). I want a big dog in my life ( I miss mine) and so many other things. But all I need, I have. A job. A room. Clothes.  Food for River and me.  I am even lucky enough to have a few friends (not including miss Emi) here in town. So I’ve all I need. Want is a little different!

I’ll probably add more later

Where has Joannie been?

So I’ve been rather busy with Life and Life without a car (takes up tons of my time you know..) I often walk to work (2.7 miles one way) with heavy backpack and River in tow. On pretty days it’s nice, even wonderful 🙂 On days that I am behind on time and have to run yes RUN those 2.7 miles with backpack and dog I hurt for days later…(I’m not supposed to run at all let lone on concert with weight..) Or when it’s raining. River particularly hates those days when we walk. But Alas it is how life is now. I get rides a lot. But sometimes there just isn’t anyone. Running errands is also quite fun.. and very time consuming.  I really want to get into the details of life in the last week or so, but I’ve got to get walking! So stay tuned 🙂

The Black Dragon is Dead

So a friend dubbed my Subaru the “Black Dragon” recently with its fits and quirks that it has. Always overheating or putzing in ways it’s not supposed to.. And at the moment I cannot find it in myself to disagree with this name since the Black Dragon is indeed in a fit of rage not running properly yet again..I am again without wheels 😦 Alas I can make do (it’s what I do after all is it not). SO I walk (occasionally run) to work and around town, I also get rides from super nice people and coworkers and sometimes am reduced to the bus system which is quite..uh there is nothing good to say about it actually so never mind.

My car can be summed up in this picture I think *sigh* my poor car.